Enough is Enough: A Thinking Ape’s Critique of Trans-Simianism

The following was taken from a cave wall painting in southern Tunisia more than 300,000 years ago. Fossil evidence suggests that the author was of the species Homo erectus.

... Complete entry

Posted by brandechh  on  12/18  at  03:24 PM

While I disagree with Klomp’s conclusions, I can't help but find the fanciful ideas titillating. Imagine the possibilities - blades that could be longer than a forefinger, simians that could count their lifespans with two sets of hands and feet, even devices that could somehow move objects from one place to another without hurting knees and backs! Perhaps methods could be found that preserve language and transfer ideas from one location to another. The myriad concepts are beyond imagination - and yet they will not likely be reality. I don't see Klomp's ideas coming to fruition any more than I could see this "walking" fad lasting more than a few years. Still, Klomp would make a great legend-talker. I'd love to hear what stories he could conjure from the cave fires.

Posted by duckrabbit  on  12/28  at  05:00 AM

Bravo!

I loved the section on writing: "Even if such a thing were possible, it is doubtful that many would wish to store their memories externally. This author, for one, would prefer it if his memories stayed in his head and not on some cold, lifeless bark."

This reminded me of a similar line of thought in Plato's Phaedrus dialogue. It's really touching — Plato was such an obviously gifted writer, but was really afraid of the consequences of the development of written culture. He worries that our memories will deteriorate and that we will lose accountability for our ideas...

(P.S. "fear and not fear" was THE BEST!)

Posted by  on  12/31  at  05:47 PM

Hahaha, using the internet, a technology that didn't exist a decade ago, to attack the idea that technology is progressing faster than in ancient times.

I hope they invent a time machine so they can send people like you back to the 1800s, when you'd be happy. None of this awful technology to tax your ape brain.

Posted by  on  04/18  at  03:35 PM

What an awesome metaphor. just as we can't understand the future technological gains that will be made they couldn't either. would it be bold to say that this essay is sarcastic and actually pro-singularity? i don't think so.

Well done.

Posted by  on  04/27  at  12:03 PM

GREAT! Author rocks! And yet a few words...

Grog, the Associate Professor of Helping To Kill An Animal After Professor Finds It:
"Yes, Mr Thog, and I must admit another trans-simianistic threat - the bloody desacration of Holy Water by swimming and attempts to settle on the Other Side! Imagine, they say apes will soon learn to swim as only fish can! What a blasphemy. It is obvious than swimming badly deformates our sceleton, unnaturally spoils our body and mind and those who swam are cursed for disturbing One Who Lives On The Other Side! And those crazy swimmers - imagine - try to eat fish!"

Thog: "FISH? What a hell! It is well known that eating cold-blooded creatures makes our blood cold and makes us half ape, half fish! Hasn't Mr Papa declared Seven New Taboos including fishing and eating fish! This is worse that eating other apes! Beat them all!"

Posted by  on  04/27  at  12:13 PM

Grog: "Just FYI. They call themselves "aquanauts". They should have learned it from another tribe's "rivernauts". One of those miserable Red barbarians jumped into The River, didn't sink and proclaimed himself "the first ape in the water". Then our crazy warriors told the Chief that we should also learn to swim to beat the bloody Reds. And it was our tribe's two apes who dared to swim to the Moon's Island and walked on its holy ground! What a shame..."

Posted by  on  05/01  at  01:55 AM

Naturally, Professor Thog continues to extol the acts of killing animals by rock in hand instead of using the arrow. Thog, as all tenured professors seem to be going back into the mists of what the older people remember and tell me happened, wishes for nothing more than for before-now to replace now, and refuses to accept the very existence of 'soon.'

As with all things, truth can be found not in Thog's worship of what was and Klomp's wild fantasies of what he thinks will be, but in the practical study of what *is,* right now. Our flintknapping techniques make our clubs into axes, our rocks into knives. We use our knives to make our sticks pointed sticks. We use our pointed sticks and more flintknapping to make spears. This is not some bizarre "post-simian" evolution -- this is simply what *is.*

Could we make better spears, arrows, axes and knives? Perhaps, if we should come across harder rocks. We have done some interesting things with the red rocks from the valley-where-Tog-once-bit-that-Lynx-Man-you-should-have-seen-it-it-was-hysterical. But this is no 'evolution,' even if Klomp claims it would be. This is simply finding harder rocks. The harder rocks were there. We already know how to flintknap. Klomp mistakes engineering for philosophy.

But as mist-eyed as Klomp is, I would take it over Thog. Thog, who 'teaches' others to find animals and then kill them, but who hasn't himself found an animal and killed it since he was thirteen. Tenure, thy name is laziness. Of course Thog teaches the old ways. He does not have to use them. And yet, his students still come and ask for spears and bows. The women still learn to bang the rocks into each other to flake off the sharp bits, and the men learn it too when they do not have a woman to do it.

If Thog is concerned with his inner Simian nature, let him pour water over his fire, throw his spear and bow out, stop making students bring him part of their kill as 'tuition,' and see how long he lasts killing animals with unknapped stone. Frankly, I doubt it would be overly long before a bear eats him. A *bear,* who we have long since made our meals rather than the other way around.

In the end, by focusing on the *now* instead of the *then* or the *soon,* we shall persevere. Let us not become Beavers, spending all our time stacking ridiculous wood and blocking the water. Nothing productive ever came from planning.

--Hork,

Professor of Banging Rocks into other Rocks To Make Sharp Rocks

The University of the Woods at the Caves By The Woods

Posted by  on  05/03  at  03:11 PM

Nice! I've bookmarked it http://www.propeller.com/submit/checkstory :D

Posted by  on  05/17  at  02:04 PM

Thanks for the info. BTW I've marked it

Posted by  on  08/13  at  02:20 AM

You know I must say I was with Klomp's theories until he began to talk of domesticating animals. He theorizes that by training and selectively breeding wolves, they may become more intelligent than they are now. *More* intelligent wolves! Surely they would rise up and destroy our way of life; it is impossible for ape and wolf to coexist peacefully, and anyone who says otherwise is an evil spirit and must, as you know, be sacrificed to Oh-my-god-that-mountain-is-on-fire Mountain.

Posted by  on  08/13  at  04:36 PM

Thought you might like to know I emailed this to Kurzweil himself (whose address I found on the singularity website). Surprisingly, he responded the very same day:
"That's funny, thank you for sharing. It IS a very good argument."

Please enter the word you see in the image below: