Russia’s hostility towards the West (both towards the USA and towards the European Union) makes no geographic, ethnic, genetic, linguistic or strategic sense… so why the hostility?
Russia is a Christian country that for ages stood as the defender of the Christian faith against the Islamic advance. Russia is a Slavic country with strong blood ties with Eastern Europe, which is now massively integrated with Western Europe and the USA (even the countries that were supported and defended by Russia against NATO aggression like Serbia). Most Russians (and certainly the ruling class) are white Caucasians who share most of their history with white Caucasians of Europe, not with their Asian neighbors.

If these ties were not enough, Russia shares most of the strategic interests of the West. The main threat to its stability is political Islam, which is also the main killer of Russian citizens. They had Islamic terrorist attacks in their main cities just like the USA and Europe did. Russia wants a Taliban-free Afghanistan as much as the USA does. Russia would be directly affected if Iran tested a nuclear weapon which could start a nuclear arms race at its borders. Russia’s power in the world is threatened by the emerging power, China, a lot more than by the old power, the USA. Last but not least, Russia’s main trading partners are the Europeans.
So why the hostility?
The hostility originates from the top. Putin wants to retain his power, and does so in a very undemocratic way (To Western eyes it is puzzling that he doesn’t do it in democratic ways because he enjoys higher approval ratings than any Western leader). Every Western leader lectures Putin and his associates on democracy, that they interpret as a way to undermine their legitimacy and their political life expectancy. Hence the hostility from the top, which is at a very personal level.
Basically, Obama and the others are telling the Russian people that the president of Russia is a dictator, which the president of Russia does not interpret as good-neighbor behavior. Western commentators may underestimate Putin’s honest concern: he probably believes passionately that Western-style democracy would cause disintegration and chaos to Russia (look at the political chaos and endless bickering that it causes in the West itself). Western ideas constitute a dangerous threat to his personal power and also to the country’s stability, as Yeltsin’s great recession and the Chechnya rebellions proved (both ultimately caused by the liberal ideas of the immediate post-Soviet state).
Furthermore, ordinary Russians share that feeling: they paid a huge price for Yeltsin’s recession and Chechnya’s wars, and later reaped the benefits of Putin’s strong rule. Hence, it is also ordinary Russians who tend to view the West as a threat to their well-being, peace, and standing in the world. Ordinary Russians themselves are lukewarm to real democracy, that seems to be a harbinger of trouble. Some of them simply think it’s too early for Russia, some of them think it is not the right system in general. They like to vote, but not for “change”. Change has been often catastrophic (and sometimes genocidal) for Russia.
It does not help that the USA supported Georgia in its feeble attempt to reannex two breakway republics after it had bombed Serbia to “protect” Kosovo (which de facto resulted in Kosovo’s right to secede from Serbia). It does not help that the USA condemned Russia’s wars in Chechnya and then launched a full-scale invasion of Iraq (at least Chechnya is part of Russia, whereas Iraq is a sovereign nation located thousands of kilometers away from the USA). It does not help that the USA has military bases all around Russia (in Eastern Europe, Scandinavia, Turkey, Iraq, Afghanistan, Central Asia, Mongolia, South Korea, Japan and of course Alaska), whereas Russia has virtually no military presence far from its immediate borders).

The double standard is obvious to all Russians.
There is little that the West can do to change perceptions. If the European Union was moving swiftly and smoothly towards unification and this helped Europe remain a world power, if the USA were increasing its power on the world, if the Arab Spring led to economic booms, and so on, Russians might be interested in Westernizing their country. As it stands, the benefit of adopting Western-style politics are dubious. The West should just stop lecturing Russia on democracy and accept that, for the time being, they have a more popular leader than any of the Western countries.
If Putin had not been attacked at a personal level by the West, he might not be so stubborn on issues like NATO’s defense shield, sanctions against Iran, the Syrian revolution, etc. After all, Russians enjoy a lot more freedom now than they did 20 years ago, and probably more than US citizens enjoyed in their first 20 years (especially women and minorities).
The ones who should change that perception are the Russians themselves, and not because they are historically wrong: they are historically right, that democracy has yielded chaos, corruption and decline in Russia. But the future looks increasingly like a world in which democracy will be considered a given, and they are being left behind.
Worse: they are being hated by the people around the world who are fighting (and dying) for more democracy. Because of its stubborn anti-Western stance, Russia ends up supporting all the most brutal regimes of the world. There was a telling sign held by demonstrators in Syria: “Thank you Russia, we are dying”.
There are a few billion people on this planet who are undergoing a momentous transition from dictatorship to democracy, and they are feeling that their main enemy is not the dictator who resists change but the powers that defend him at the United Nations and that sell him the very arms that kill them by the thousands.
What Russia is doing is the equivalent to a massive investment in making sure that it will be the most isolated country in the world for several generations to come.
“The US missile defense complex in Poland, also called the European Interceptor Site (EIS) was part of the Ballistic Missile Defense European Capability of the US, to be placed in Redzikowo, Słupsk, Poland, forming a Ground-Based Midcourse Defense system in conjunction with a US narrow-beam midcourse tracking and discrimination radar system in the Brdy, Czech Republic. It was to consist of up to 10 silo-based interceptors, a two-stage version of the existing three-stage Ground Based Interceptor (GBI), with Exoatmospheric Kill Vehicle (EKV), with a closing speed of about 7 km/s. The plan was cancelled in 2009.
According to the United States administration, the system was intended to protect against future missiles from Iran, such as the alleged Shahab-6, although in November 2007 the U.S. National Intelligence Estimate reported that Iran’s nuclear weapons program had been halted since late 2003. It has also been pointed out that Central Europe is beyond the range of any missile that Iran currently has.
Russia strongly opposed the system. As an alternative, it proposed sharing the Qabala Radar in Azerbaijan, which Russia leases, but at the time this was not seen as an acceptable substitute for the US. One of the major difficulties from the Russian perspective was that the associated radar installation, which was to be based in the Czech Republic, would have been able to collect information about all movements in Russian airspace up to the Urals mountains, which is the whole of European Russia.
Since 2002, the US had been in talks with Poland and other European countries over the possibility of setting up a European base to intercept long-range missiles. According to US officials, a site similar to the US base in Alaska would help protect the US and Europe from missiles fired from the Middle East or North Africa. The Ustka-Wicko base of the Polish Army 54.553748°N 16.620255°E was initially mentioned as a possible site of US missile interceptors. Poland’s prime minister Kazimierz Marcinkiewicz said in November 2005 he wanted to open up the public debate on whether Poland should host such a base.
In February 2007 the US started formal negotiations with Poland and the Czech Republic concerning construction of missile shield installations in those countries for a Ground-Based Midcourse Defense System. However in April 2007 the Washington Post reported that 57% of Poles opposed the plan.
Russia threatened to place short-range nuclear missiles on its borders with NATO if the United States refused to abandon its plans to deploy 10 interceptor missiles and a radar in Poland and the Czech Republic. In April 2007, then-President Putin warned of a new Cold War if the Americans deployed the shield in Central Europe. Putin also said that Russia was prepared to abandon its obligations under a Nuclear Forces Treaty of 1987 with the United States.
On July 4, 2008, Poland did not agree on the conditions set forth by the United States regarding the installation of anti-ballistic missiles on its territory.
On July 8, 2008, the Russian Foreign Ministry stated that if the missile defense system was approved, “we will be forced to react not with diplomatic, but with military-technical methods.”
On August 14, 2008, shortly after the 2008 South Ossetia war, the United States and Poland announced a deal to implement the missile defense system in Polish territory, with a tracking system placed in the Czech Republic. The Russians responded by saying such action “cannot go unpunished. The fact that this was signed in a period of very difficult crisis in the relations between Russia and the United States over the situation in Georgia shows that, of course, the missile defense system will be deployed not against Iran but against the strategic potential of Russia,” Dmitry Rogozin, Russia’s NATO envoy, said.
A high-ranking Russian military officer had warned Poland that it was exposing itself to attack by accepting a U.S. missile interceptor base on its soil. The deputy chief of staff of Russia’s armed forces Gen. Anatoly Nogovitsyn has warned Poland that, “by deploying (the system), it is exposing itself to a strike — 100 percent”.
On August 20, 2008, the “Agreement Between the Government of the United States of America and the Government of the Republic of Poland Concerning the Deployment of Ground-Based Ballistic Missile Defense Interceptors in the Territory of the Republic of Poland” was signed in Warsaw by US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Poland’s Foreign Minister Radoslaw Sikorski.
On November 5, during President Dmitry Medvedev’s first state of the nation speech he stated that Russia would deploy short-range Iskander missiles to Russia’s western enclave of Kaliningrad, sandwiched between Poland and Lithuania “to neutralize, if necessary, a missile defense system.” “From what we have seen in recent years — the creation of a missile defense system, the encirclement of Russia with military bases, the relentless expansion of NATO — we have gotten the clear impression that they are testing our strength,” he said.
On November 8, an aide to U.S. President-Elect Barack Obama denied a claim made by Polish President Lech Kaczyński’s office that a pledge had been made to go ahead with the missile defense system during a phone conversation between the two men. “His [Obama’s] position is as it was throughout the campaign, that he supports deploying a missile defence system when the technology is proved to be workable,” the aid said, but “no commitment” has been made.
On November 14, French President Nicolas Sarkozy stated that plans for a U.S. missile shield in Central Europe were misguided, and wouldn’t make the continent a safer place. “Deployment of a missile defense system would bring nothing to security ... it would complicate things, and would make them move backward,” he said at a summit. He also warned Russian President Dmitry Medvedev against upping tensions by deploying missiles in Kaliningrad in response to the U.S. planned missile defense system.
On April 5, 2009, President Obama, during his speech in Prague, declared: “As long as the threat from Iran persists, we will go forward with a missile defense system that is cost-effective and proven.” President Obama continued to expressed conditional support for the program and sought to isolate it from U.S.-Russian nuclear arms control talks.
On September 17, 2009, The White House issued a statement saying that the US “no longer planned to move forward” with the project. According to President Obama, new intelligence had shown Iran was pursuing short-range and medium-range missile development, rather than long-range, necessitating a shift in strategy…”