Thailand’s Royal Problem: Democratic Grumblings in The Land of Smiles
Hank Pellissier
2015-08-12 00:00:00

“Mommy! Can I have your dessert?” shrieks my 11-year-old daughter.

“No! It’s mine now!” bellows her 15-year-old sister.

My daughters’s emotions are hair-trigger and expressed without hesitation. Demanding-what-we-want-as-soon-as-possible appears to be an American vice, or is it a virtue?

On arrival, as we exit the Bangkok Terminal, we pass a sign that says “Welcome to Buddha-Land. Buddha Must Be Treated With Respect. No Buying or Selling Heads of Buddha. No Buddha Tattoos.” etc., etc., etc.



My visceral reaction on reading this was resentment. “It’s like Saudi Arabia,” I mutter. “A religious state - no freedom of expression allowed.”

I’ve always admired Buddhism and I’ve half-heartedly investigated its path for decades. But after seeing that sign, I feel what I actually am: an irreverent atheist with an anarcho-attitude towards social taboos.

Buddhism isn’t the only group that requires respect in Thailand. For total abject devotion, there’s…

The Monarchy! You can’t say anything derogatory about King Bhumibol Adulyadej, the 87-year-old king - Highly Verboten. This summer, a Thai man was sentenced to 30 years in prison for posting anti-monarchist ideas on his Facebook page. Lese-majeste (injured majesty.) A 28-year-old woman was also sentenced to 29 years.

Of course its a horrendous human rights abuse; plus, its so anachronistic it is almost funny. Comedian new commenter John Oliver skewers the monarch in this video.

A third taboo exists: let’s call it “Footphobia.” The rules are: Don’t point the bottom of your feet at anybody. Don’t put your feet on tables or chairs. Don’t walk with shoes on in revered religious or governmental areas. Don’t even tie your sandals on the outside of your backpack because they might swing wildly and - egads! - touch someone! Highly disrespectful!

Every Thai person I meet in Bangkok on Day 1 either salutes me or presses their hands together in prayer and bows to me, to give me respect. For about an hour I think, “this is very nice.” I bow back, haphazardly. Eventually, I grow weary. “What a chore!” I decide. “All day long, bowing, saluting, bowing again, what a time-sucking, mind-sucking hassle.”

I can’t complain out loud, though. Its our family vacation; I need to be a positive role model for my sensitive daughters. Grumpiness has to be repressed; I have to shut up and enjoy myself in The Land of Smiles.



My 11-year-old is luckily free of these restrictions. “What’s wrong with my feet?” she demands. “My feet are beautiful. Why can’t I touch people with my feet?”

The most repressive places in Bangkok are also the top tourist attractions: Wat Phra Kaew and Wat Pho, enormous temple complexes with hundreds of reverence-demanding Buddhas, from a diminutive jade statuette to an enormous reclining gold-plated giant, 46 meters long.

Immediately we run into trouble. My 15-year-old is wearing a tank top. The Wat’s entry guard - a bullying soldier - informs us that she can’t enter dressed like that! (it’s way too risqué and disrespectful.) We cover her bare arms and shoulders with a huge shawl… nope! Not good enough! My daughter has to borrow a state-issued “modesty garment” - a purple blouse that makes her look like a dental hygienist.

We see other people turned away, usually women. Short skirts can not enter. Short shorts aren’t even close. Low-cut tshirt on busty women? Uh uh. Oddly enough, a Burmese man wearing an ankle-length sarong is also turned away.

When we finally gain admittance, we find the temple grounds littered with RULES. Take your shoes off here. No photographs here. Be very quiet here. Kneel here. Put your shoes in this bag here and carry the bag over there. Get your baht bills changed into coins here and put the coins in the begging bowls here…

I don’t feel angry; I feel paralyzed. This is what repression does. A long day a long life of bowing and smiling to everyone and watching what you say, wear, and what your feet are doing. Does this lead to stultification, compliance, joining the herd of sheeple? A nation that does this, is it vulnerable to monarchy-military rule, like Thailand?

I thought about egalitarian Buddha, who wanted liberation for all beings. I hope he’d be appalled by the hundreds of statuettes in his image that demand deference.

What am I learning?

A nation that requires huge respect for its institutions is preparing its citizenry for the abolition of freedoms.





The proprietor at our second hotel, on Day 4, tells us that everyone in Thailand loves the king, and everyone thinks the military coup has been wonderful. I’m very disheartened to hear this…

That’s why I am wildly delighted when our taxi driver on Day 16 in Chiang Rai reveals himself as a secessionist revolutionary.

“No! No!” he exclaims, louder than any Thai I have ever heard. “I don’t like the King! Thailand has no justice! I want to be a separate Lanna country.”

The taxi driver says he is a “red shirt” - a militant member of Northern Thailand’s separatist movement. He had a red shirt that he’d wear to separatist rallies, but then he hid it in his room, and now he’s gotten rid of it entirely. He says he can be arrested - for treason - if he wears the “red shirt.”

He wants Lanna to have either total independence from Thailand, or to be autonomous. Lanna, he explains, is an ancient kingdom, with its heyday from about 1280 - 1550 AD.

Lanna has its own language, its own cuisine, its own culture. But it is disrespected by the Thai, who disparagingly call them “kwai” - “water buffalos.” Additionally, Lanna does not get sufficient representation or benefits from the Bangkok elite.

Is Lanna the only area in Thailand that wants separatism? No, says the taxi driver. Many people in Isan - the huge northeastern section rarely visited by tourists - also want autonomy.

The King killed his brother,” the taxi driver explains. “His brother was King, so he killed him, so he could be King. But we are not allowed to talk about that.”

His English skills are weak but his emotion is strong. He repeats, over and over again, passionately, “I don’t like King - NO! I don’t like Queen - NO! I don’t like Army - NO! I don’t like Soldiers - NO!”

Do you like monks, I ask him? He tells me he’s a Buddhist, and that many Lanna monks also want separatism.

What do you need? I ask.

“Guns.”

I shudder. I love Northern Thailand. The rice paddies, the hill tribes, the friendliness.

I am very partial to separatist movements. I wanted Scotland, recently, to vote for freedom, I wanted Biafra, 48 years ago, to successfully break away. I am all for the creation of new nations like Flanders or Catalonia or Kurdistan. Or Lanna and Isan.

My attachment to separatism stems from my attachment to democracy.

People deserve self-determination.